Bella and the Motorcycle
by JerinAnn6397
Summary: Bella is trying out her bike for the first time and something goes horribly wrong. Takes place during New Moon. *Rewritten*
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I would like to thank you for choosing to read this story. I decided to rewrite it because the grammar was terrible in my eyes. I wrote it when I was really young, so I thought I would try to fix it up. I hope you enjoy. ~JerinAnn**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight and I never will.**

**Bella's POV:**

Today was either going to be the best day of my life, or the worst mistake I ever made. Jacob Black, my best friend, just finished fixing the motorcycles I brought him. They were in terrible condition when I gave them to him, so I was still in shock at how amazing they looked. I used my savings account that was meant for college to help fund this little project, and from the way the bikes looked, it was worth it.

So here we were, driving in my beat up pickup truck to a secluded trail to test out the death machines. I normally wouldn't do anything this reckless, but I found that if I did something totally dangerous and stupid, I would hear my loves voice… my love who left me. Just thinking about him ripped at the hole in my chest.

I quickly pulled my thoughts away from the past and into the present. In less than ten minutes, I would be on a motorcycle. I could basically hear my father screaming at me. I would be grounded for eternity if he found out about them; he would possibly kill me himself if he heard about them.

We arrived at the place Jake told me about in no time. I felt the excitement fade while nervousness and fear took it's place. What the hell was I doing?

When I parked, Jake turned to me, excitement burning in his eyes. "Are you ready?" He asked me. It was hard for me not to catch his excitement.

"Yeah," I mumbled as I tried to smile as we exited my truck. I was going to help Jake with the bikes, but he was strong. He got them out as easy as if they were tricycles.

He held the bike steady as I got on it. He pointed to each of the parts I needed to know in order to ride. He told me to use the hand brakes for the back brakes were for when I became better.

"Are you ready?" He asked me again.

I nodded and gritted my teeth in concentration. I put my foot up and tried to kickstart the bike, but kept almost falling over with the bike on top of me. Jacob could probably see my growing frustration so he held the bike for me as I attempted to kickstart it again.

When I finally got the bike started, Jacob prompted me to switch it into first gear. I took a deep breath as I did what I was told. I was glad my hands were tight around the clutch or they would be shaking.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jacob asked, concern filling his voice. "You look scared."

"I'm fine," I snapped at him.

"Okay, then slowly let go of the clutch." I stared at him in disbelief and sighed. "That's how you move, Bella."

I nodded and I slowly loosened my grip on the clutch. I was shocked by the unexpected voice that filled my head.

"Bella, this is reckless and idiotic," the velvet voice spoke darkly, anger filling his voice.

I jumped slightly and my hand loosened more. Suddenly I was flying. I let out a triumphant laugh. I heard the voice I've been dying to hear and I was doing the impossible. My stomach was still back with Jacob as I flew down the dirt road. The adrenaline was coursing through my veins as the trees flew by me in a solid wall of green. The speed was welcomed and my foot twitched toward the gearshift as I was craving more speed.

"No, Bella! Are you trying to kill yourself?" He demanded. "Watch where you are going."

His words distracted me from the speed for a moment and I realized that I was headed to a curve in the road. Jacob hadn't taught me how to turn yet.

"Brakes, Bella!" Jacob screamed from far away. "Hit the brakes!"

"Brakes, brakes," I murmured and I instinctively slammed my foot down on the brake Jacob told me not to use.

Suddenly the bike started to wobble and soon I fell to the ground with the bike on top of me. We were still moving with me under it and I could see a large rock coming toward me fast. I felt my eyes widen as I watched helplessly as the rock approached me. I couldn't turn the bike nor could I stop my advance. Soon my head bashed itself against the rock and everything went black.

I heard beeping sounds in the distance and slowly opened my eyes. I was in a white room with many machines. The annoying sounds were coming from a machine attached to me. I slowly sat up and my head started spinning. I fell back down against the white, slightly raised bed with a gasp. The beeping because to speed up.

Soon a man in a white coat walked into the room. I silently groaned as I realized I was in a hospital. The man -Dr. Snow- smiled at me. "Ah, I'm glad to see you're awake. How are you feeling, Bella?"

"Bella?" I questioned.

His bushy eyebrows furrowed over his eyes. "Tell me, what do you remember?"

"Um," I thought for a moment. My eyes widened. "Nothing," I said as the beeping sounds picked up even faster. "I remember nothing."

He slowly grabbed my arms. "Relax, Bella," he spoke softly yet urgently. "Do you know your name, where you are?"

I shook my head as tears fell down my face. "I guess my name's Bella as you just called me 'Bella.'"

He smiled slightly. "I'll go get your friend who brought you here. Maybe he will trigger something."

Dr. Snow quickly left the room, and I tried to sit up again. He wasn't gone long as he quickly entered the room with a tall, copper skinned boy behind him. The boy's eyes were full of concern.

"Bella, are you alright?" the boy asked as he walked toward me to sit on the bed next to me. I shifted away slightly and shock and pain filled his face. "Bella?"

"Jacob," Dr. Snow said softly, apologetically. "I'm afraid Bella lost her memory when she hit her head."

"Bella?" Jacob asked, his eyebrows shooting up.

I looked closely at his face, trying to remember him, but I couldn't. "Who are you?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Bella's POV:**

The boy, Jacob, continued to stare at me for a moment before he stuck his hand out for me to shake. "Let me reintroduce myself. I'm Jacob Black, you're best friend. My father is your father's best friend. Your dad bought my dad's old truck for you."

I smiled slightly and shook his hand. "Nice to, uh, re-meet you."

He smiled. "Likewise, Miss Swan."

I grinned at him. I don't know what I was going to say, and luckily I didn't have to as a man and a woman came into my room. The woman saw me and ran toward me while crying, "My baby!"

I stiffened slightly as she engulfed me in a hug. I relaxed after I realized she was my mother. I looked at the man who was standing at the back of the room in a police uniform. He was talking to the doctor. When he caught my eye, he walked over.

"Well, Bells, I'm sure you learned your lesson. Now you know why I was always going off about those damn motorcycles," he said as he gave me a stern look.

"Yes, sir," I said softly, unsure about what to do.

"Sir?" he questioned, his eyes widening as he shared a glance with the woman whose arms were still wrapped around me. "Since when have you called me 'sir,' Bells?"

"Uh, Chief Swan," Dr. Snow called out softly. "It seems that Bella here has amnesia. It should be alright for her to go home now, but make sure you keep an eye on her."

"What?" The woman whose arms were still around me cried out. "Honey, you don't remember me?"

"I'm guessing you're my mother," I looked toward the man, "and you're my father."

He chuckled. "She's still as observant as ever, right Renee?"

She chuckled. "She wouldn't be Bella if she wasn't."

I groaned slightly as I jumped up from the bed and stumbled forward. My dad caught me before I could hit my head against the wall again. "And still as klutzy as always."

I huffed and stomped out of the room. "And still as hotheaded," I heard Jacob mutter behind me. Some best friend.

Charlie was right behind me after he signed some release forms. I was riding in his police cruiser with him, while my mom drove my car back home. He opened the door for me to get in, and slammed it shut. I flinched at the loud noise.

When Charlie drove out of the parking lot, he decided to fill the silence. "You won't be going to school for a few days, Bells. I'm going to ask for a couple days off from work at well to make sure you didn't hurt your head too bad. Oh, by the way, you're grounded for the rest of your life. I told you that motorcycles were dangerous and to never ride them, and what do you do? You decide to ride them behind my back. I thought your mother raised you better-"

"Wait," I interrupted his rant. "What do you mean my mom raised me. Didn't you help her?"

Pain filled his eyes. "Well, your mom left with you to Arizona when you were still a baby. You would visit me here until you were fourteen. We decided then to meet in California every summer after that. Then you decided to move back here when your mom got remarried. You've been here for a little more than a year."

"Oh," I mumbled. "So, can you tell me anything about myself?"

He smiled. "Yeah. You love reading, mostly classics, and you love classical music." He got a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "You love sports, by the way. You also love to watch the games with me." He looked at me with pride in his eyes. "You're also an excellent student. You're favorite subject is English. You're eighteen and a senior at Forks High."

I nodded but remained silent. I got the feeling that he was holding something back, some important information that I needed. I shrugged it off. I was pretty sure that he would tell me if there was anything I needed to know.

I looked out the window as he pulled up to a house. The house was two stories and white. There was a tree in the middle of the front yard. Charlie opened his door to get out. I sighed as I looked at my unfamiliar house.

I opened my door and exited the car. Charlie quickly opened the front door for me, and I sighed again. I could sense a lot of headaches coming my way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Edward's POV:**

I was locked in my room, wanting to be away from everyone. I curled up into a ball and rocked back and forth in the corner. Nothing mattered but the pain. The pain was consuming everything. Every hope, every dream was being consumed by the flame. Every thought of her was being burned in my memory, tainted by the darkness inside me.

She was my life, and oh, how much I loved her! I missed her more than anything. My very being was pulling me to her, but my mind fought against the pull of my heart. She was better off without me, my mind told me. She can have the life she would never have with you.

But my heart had a different opinion. Was she truly ever happy without you? She fought so hard to keep you with her. She loves you; why did you ever doubt that.

My mind kept contradicting my heart. She only ever loved me because she knew no better. I was a stronger being than her. She looked up to me in a way that she never should. She saw a lie, a mask. She never saw the truth… but she knew me better than anyone, even the people I call my family.

I grasped my hair in my hands, pulling it in my misery. How was I able to stay away from her for so long? After all the pain and misery I inflicted upon myself, how was I ever able to stop from crumbling and crawling back to her on my hands and knees like the pathetic creature I am?

I continued to silently sob in my hands as I basked in the fires of hell. Through the flames, I heard a gasp, a gasp of shock that did nothing to distract me from my tortures.

But the images that followed proceeded to lift me from my prison, if only for a moment.

I saw Bella, my Bella, on a bike. I froze in shock. Since when has she ever been into motorcycles? She only ever loved that rusty, old truck her father bought. I flinched at the memory of our constant banter about me getting her a new car. The memory of her selflessness was too much. I shifted my concentration back to the images my sister was sharing with me.

My love, my life, was going fast on her bike. I saw her beginning to smile, but all too quickly, she came to a curve in the road. She slammed her foot on the break and tipped the bike over, consequently launching herself into a rock.

The image shifted to a new one, a vision of Bella waking up in a hospital without a clue who she was. My heart sunk as I realized that she wouldn't remember me, but then I berated myself. Wouldn't that be better? If she didn't remember me, surely she could have the human life I wanted her to have.

When the second vision ended, a third and final vision took its place. Bella was in her house, her father giving her pictures, telling her about the life she had. Bella threw down a picture she was holding, screaming in frustration that it was no use. She ran up the stairs faster than I've ever seen her move. As she ran into her room, she tripped over a loose floorboard and went flying. She landed on her bed with a gasp of shock. She looked behind her and saw the floorboard which slid out of place.

Bella got up slowly, cautiously, and approached the spot where I hid her birthday gifts. She picked them up, and when she saw the picture of me, she gasped and dropped the photo on the floor. She gasped out my name and then quickly ran from the room.

She ran passed a shocked Charlie and into the kitchen. She approached her father's work jacket and grabbed his gun out of its holster. She pointed the gun to her head and… she was gone. My Bella left the world which I was condemned to walk for the rest of eternity.

"No!" I roared and barreled out of the room without opening the door. I was out of the house in less than a second. I needed to get to my everything before she did anything stupid. My sister Alice was hot on my heels.

We have to hurry. We have to hurry, Alice continued to chant in her head. We won't reach her in time to stop the first incident, but we should get to Forks in plenty of time to stop her from- Alice couldn't finish the thought. I pushed myself harder, faster. Soon, I left Alice far behind.

I reached Forks with plenty of time to spare. It had taken me less than a day to run back to my home. I arrived just after Bella was released from the hospital. I ran back to her house to meet her there. I was planning on hiding in the forest until I could get her alone. I needed to speak to her without her father trying to fill me with lead.

Bella soon arrived in Charlie's police cruiser. She opened her door and I was shocked to see her. She looked even worse than the vision showed her to be. She was so thin that her clothes hung off her loosely. Her hair lost the vibrant color that it used to be. It was now a dull, dark brown that hung around her face. Her eyes, the windows to her soul, did not sparkle like they used to. They were dull; they were sucked of all the life they once held. They were not the open books they used to be. It was like looking into a murky pond and trying to see the bottom of it. It wasn't possible. I've seen corpses with more life in their eyes than her.

You did this, my mind told me. You reduced her to this state. You killed her soul in the ways you never thought you would. You robbed her of everything.

I fell to the ground, a new wave of agony rippling over me. What have I done? How could I have been so stupid? Didn't I always say how much more of an advanced creature I was: superior in every way? How wrong was I! I destroyed everything.

I quickly picked myself up after I was able to move. I needed to see her. I looked around, but there was no one to see me. I sprinted to her house and climbed in her room faster than I ever had.

I heard her slow footsteps climbing the stairs. I felt a new wave of fear as I thought of her reaction. She didn't remember me so she might scream in terror. She would probably faint on the spot. She might even remember me at the instant and start shouting and throwing thing at me.

She entered the room before I could flee. She simply stared at me for a long moment before silently closing the door behind her. She took a deep breath before turning to face me.

She looked me dead in the face, and tilted her head to the side slightly. "Do I know you?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Bella's POV**

"Do I know you?" I asked the strange boy in my room. I knew I should be screaming for my father, but there was something about the stranger. He didn't look at me like he wanted to hurt me; he looked at me with pain pouring from every crevice of him.

His agony increased as I spoke. "Bella," he said hesitantly, "you don't remember me?" His face melted into a mask of torture when I nodded, confirming his assessment. I instantly wanted to calm him. It felt like a crime to hurt an angel, and here I was, hurting him so bad that it was like I burning him with my mind.

He walked slowly toward me, his hands outstretched in a silent plea for silence. "Bella," he said in a voice that sounded like music, "what do you remember?"

I glanced down and then around the room. "I don't remember anything," I complained. My head snapped up as I thought of something. "How do you know something is wrong with me?" I demanded, my eyes narrowing in suspicion.

He chuckled quietly. "Still as observant as always." He sighed as I glared at him. "What would you like to know?" he asked hesitantly.

"Everything," I exclaimed. "You have no clue how… how maddening it is to have no memory whatsoever."

His gazed traveled over my head like he was seeing something outside of this world. "Actually, I do. I have a sister who didn't remember anything…" he trailed off. He seemed to remember that I was there. "Sorry, how about I tell you about your history today, and tomorrow I tell you about how I fit in?"

I nodded furiously which made the room spin in an unnatural way. The stranger caught before I could hit the ground. He gently placed me on my bed and my eyes started to close automatically. I didn't want to sleep, though; I wanted to continue to talk with the stranger.

"Sleep, Bella, just sleep. I'll tell you everything when you awake," he said quietly.

I started to protest, but I yawned. I decided it was in my best interest to sleep after all. I nodded in agreement and allowed my eyes to close.

"Goodnight, Bella," he spoke softly as his arms tightened around me. "Have pleasant dreams." He started to hum a beautiful lullaby.

"Wait," I mumbled, already half asleep. "What is your name?"

He stopped humming for a second to say, "Edward, Edward Cullen."

I sighed as I drifted off to sleep. Edward Cullen… what a beautiful name.

It was the middle of the night when I woke up. I thought of the stranger named Edward and decided it was a dream… or that I should be admitted to the nearest institution as soon as possible. Maybe the hit on my head affected me more that anyone thought. I decided to forget about it, and I rolled over to go back to sleep when I felt something hard and cold on my waist. I rolled back over to see what it was. My breath caught in my throat and my heart stopped.

Edward Cullen was there, gazing at me with concerned eyes. I decided to really look at him then, past his pained features. Even in the dark, his eyes were a bright topaz, his skin as white as the snow-it was almost glowing in fact. He was the picture of true beauty.

"Edward?" I asked hesitantly, afraid I was talking to a figment of my imagination.

He smiled slightly. "Yes?" he replied.

"Will you explain everything now?"

He paused for a second. "Don't you want to sleep more?" He sighed when I shook my head. "Okay, I'll explain everything."

I spent my morning listening to him tell me about my life, and whenever my mother or father came to check on me, he would hide while I pretended to sleep. It wasn't long until my father left for work and my mother to her husband. I guess it was awkward for her to be back in this house. As Edward told me the story of my life, I couldn't help but feel like he was describing someone else's life.

"So then you decided to come here to Forks," he said with a slight smile, a twinkle in his eye that I couldn't understand.

"That's it?" I demanded, confused as to why he stopped with my arrival.

"Well, I told you I would tell you everything about your history, and save the part where I come in for later…" He trailed off when he saw my expression.

I continued to give him a stern look. "Well then, would you please be kind enough to tell me about the rest of my life? I'm dying to know."

"Well, umm, you see… I-" his stuttering was cut off by a very familiar voice.

"Bella, get out here now!" Jacob yelled from outside.

I sighed and walked room my room to the house door before Edward pulled me to a stop, his eyes livid.

"Don't, Bella; it's not safe," Edward explained in a hiss as he pulled me away from the door.

"What's not safe?" I demanded, but he remained silent. "I need to see him, Edward. He found me and probably saved my life."

His arms were like snares; they refused to release me no matter how hard I struggled.

"Let me go!" I yelled at him. I started to call him all sorts of colorful names. He apparently never heard me swear like that before, because he froze in shock. His arms loosened a little which gave me the chance to break free. Before he could stop me again, I yanked the door open.

Jacob stood outside the door, but he looked so different: his hair was cropped and he had a tribal tattoo on his right arm. He pulled me to him, and he felt like he was running a fever. "How is it possible," he whispered. "It's all over you…" He trailed off as he caught sight of Edward. "You," he growled-he literally growled.

"Get away from her," Edward snarled back.

He smirked at him. "No… I don't think I will. Even if she can't remember all the pain you caused her, I'm sure she will choose me over a vampire."

All three of us froze. "What?" I whispered, unable to find my voice to talk louder.

"Now you've done it dog!" Edward snarled at him again. "You broke the treaty before you believed in your legends and now, here you are a part of it all, you break it again without a second thought. Besides, Bella would never want to be with a werewolf like you either, Black, especially with all the dangers it involves."

Vampires? Werewolves? I was so confused; I couldn't wrap my head around it. Since when have the myths ever been a part of our world? Maybe they both needed to be committed, but then I thought of Edward's inhuman beauty… It was all too much. The world suddenly started to spin again, and soon I was enveloped in the all too familiar darkness.

When I regained consciousness, I was aware of the yelling and accusations. It was so loud that it hurt my ears. Boys were never considerate.

I opened my eyes to find myself lying on a couch with a blanket around me. Huh, maybe they weren't as bad as I thought. I became more aware of the argument, and I rolled my eyes. They were accusing each other of making me faint.

I slowly stood up and looked at both of them. They ignored my presence so I decided to speak. "Can I say something?"

"No!" they both shouted at me, taking only a second break to yell at me before continuing their argument. My temper flared when they yelled at me. What the hell did I do? I continued to glare at nothing in particular as I went to the kitchen to get the necessary supplies for my revengeful tactic for getting them to shut up.

I put the liter bottle of coke on the ground and took out a package of mentos. I took one and shoved in in the bottle before I quickly screwed the lid on tight and hurried to safety. Neither of them seemed to have noticed what I had done so they both jumped a mile in the air when the bottle finally exploded and showered everything in soda.

I came quickly out from behind the couch when I was sure the couch was clear. "Now will you two-" I stopped when I saw Edward's expression. I laughed so hard that I started crying.

"What's so funny?" they both demanded.

I got a hold of myself as fast as possible, though it was difficult. I pointed at Edward with a shaking hand. "The look on your face," I couldn't help but laugh again. "You look like you're going to be sick."

Edward huffed in annoyance. "Of course I am; it's disgusting. I now have human food all over me."

I froze. "You two were serious about all that?" They both nodded as they studied my face. When I figured out that they were serious, I started laughing again. They looked so shocked.

"Are you sure that I'm the one who hit my head?" I demanded between my giggles. "Vampires and werewolves don't exist. They are only myths and legends used to scare little kids into behaving."

Edward groaned. "Of course. Of course when she loses her memory, she starts acting like a normal human. I'll prove it to you," he promised.

Jacob interrupted him. "No. She doesn't believe it, right? She's not supposed to know anything about this correct? It's safer for her to be in the dark? Then let's leave her in the dark. Problem solved."

"And when she gets her memory back, then what?" Edward demanded, his voice growing more agitated by the minute. "She'll remember everything and be furious with both of us. If you don't want her to know the truth, then leave. Go to your own land. You've already broken the treaty twice. Go!" Edward said this all in one breath.

Jacob glanced at me, uncertainty in his eyes. "Go," I told him. He looked shocked and wounded that I would send him away. "Go. I want to hear what he has to say without you two arguing. I also have to clean up my house." I looked around the room at the mess I've made. I guess I really do have a bad temper.

Jacob stared at me for a second more before stomping furiously out of the room, and out of the house. I turned towards Edward expectantly.

He sighed. "Okay, I'll start with the easiest way to show you."

In the next second he was behind me and then back in front of me again. I stared at him in shock, but quickly shook my head. "I hit my head earlier; I'm missing stuff all the time," I argued.

He huffed in frustration, mumbling about how much harder this is than before. He walked over to the couch I was lying on before and picked it up with one hand.

I rolled my eyes. "There are other people in the world who could do that." His eyes narrowed. He was gone and back in less than a second with a gun in hand.

I stared at him with wide eyes, afraid of what he would do. He raised it and pointed the barrel towards his head. I finally realized what he was going to do and I shouted "Don't!"

He pulled the trigger and I screamed in fear for his life. There was no way he could survive that. I couldn't believe he would shoot himself just because I didn't believe him. What kind of a psycho would do that?

It took me a moment to realize he didn't die, he wasn't on the floor in a puddle of blood. I looked down and saw instead something on the floor by his feet. I bent over and picked up the object and saw it was a bullet. It was almost completely flat. I stared at him in shock, but he simply stood there waiting patiently for me to take it all in. I took a step toward him and bend my head down, setting it on his chest right where his heart would be beating. I heard silence.

I pulled away and looked into his eyes finally believing the truth he tried to tell me all along.

"Who are you to me?" I asked when I found my voice again.

He smiled sadly at me. "Hello, love."

I continued to stare at him. "What?" I asked bluntly.

He looked down at the ground. "Hello, love," he repeated in a barely audible mumble.

"So we were…"

"Boyfriend and girlfriend," he finished for me.

I shook my head. "I don't believe you," I said with a hard edge to my voice. He was lying to me and I hate it when people lie to me. His head snapped up so he could meet my eyes. "I wouldn't forget my own boyfriend!" I exclaimed."

He sighed sadly. "You couldn't even remember your own parents. Why would you remember me?"

I continued to glare at him. "Oh, I don't know, maybe because my mother ditched my dad when I was an infant, taking me with her. Or could it be because she wasn't fit to raise me, but she still refused to give me up which caused me to not have a normal childhood, because I was too busy making sure she didn't end up killing us both.

"That's probably the same reason I don't remember anything about myself; It doesn't sound like I had a good life. I bet you everyone hated me, so I became a loner," I laughed. "It would be hysterical if I guessed right."

He stared at me. "You know that's not true. They both love you, and you love them."

I felt the sting of tears reach my eyes. "No, I don't know."

He gazed at me regretfully. "Bella, I'm so s-" he stopped abruptly. "Charlie's here. See you in a bit, l-Bella."

Before I could respond, he was out of sight. Something tugged at a long lost memory. I was confused as to why I was in agony from his sudden absence.

"Bella," Charlie called as he came into the room. "Hey, sweetheart, I have a few pictures for you to look at. It might help jog your memory."

I looked at Charlie blankly for a moment and slowly nodded. I wasn't sure my voice would work.

He led me to the living room and laid all the picture on the little coffee table. I looked at them, and couldn't believe that this was my life.

There were some really embarrassing photos in the mix. There was one I guess was a school photo where I had a huge smile with a mouthful of braces and funny hair. I looked to be about nine. In another picture, I had a pimple the size of Mount Saint Helen smack dab in the middle of my forehead. To say the least, I was mortified.

To make matters worse, it didn't to anything for my memory; I still couldn't remember anything.

"It's no use!" I screamed. I threw the pictures back on the table. I stalked passed Charlie, who looked like he went into shock. I ran up into my room and, on my way in, I tripped on something and went flying. I luckily was able to catch myself on my bed before I could do any damage to myself. I looked back to see what I tripped on and stared at the floor in confusion. One of my floorboards was out of place. I quickly got off my bed and walked over to investigate.

I sat cross-legged on the floor and slowly moved the floorboard aside. I saw two plane tickets, a blank CD in a clear case, and two pictures of Edward and I. My mind clouded over and a scene played in my mind.

Charlie threw me the camera he got me for my eighteenth birthday. Being as clumsy as I was, I missed it and it went off my fingers. Before it could break on the floor, Edward had caught it.

Charlie congratulated Edward on the save, and told me that I should take pictures for my mom to see. I suddenly turned the camera on Edward and took a picture for fun, telling them it still worked. Edward was in a good mood then. After a few days, it all changed.

As soon as one memory was done, another one took its place.

I came home to see Edward's lifeless gaze on the TV. I took pictures of everything in the house thinking I was leaving with Edward. I took pictures of Edward and Charlie, and Charlie complained about being on film. Edward and I posing together in a painfully formal way.

The strongest flashback had nothing to do with the pictures, but everything to do with my life, with my being.

Edward told me he was leaving without me. He was abandoning me. I remembered the rest of the horrific moment, but only certain words and phrases caught my attention.

"I don't want you to come with me."

"I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not."

"I have let this go on for too long."

"This is the last time you will ever see me. I will never come back. I won't put you through anything again. You can go on with your life. It will be as if I'd never existed."

"It will be like I never existed."

"...never existed."

"Edward!" I gasped out as my mind came back to the present. The memory of Edward's departure was fresh in my mind, a new wound.

He promised that he would never come back, yet here he was, trying to convince me that we were still together.

Overcome by anger, I thought, Fine! Since he broke his promise, I'll break mine.

I ran back down to the living room, and headed to the hall where Charlie kept his equipment. I picked up his gun and pointed it at my head. I thought better of it at last second and lowered it… and pulled the trigger. The last thing I remember was how it felt to have a bullet go through my chest and a roar of fury.

I slowly regained consciousness, but I was floating, flying. I'm dead, I thought. I could feel my hair whipping around my face, the sharp pain in my chest. I felt like I was dying all over again. Great, I'm in hell.

"Please," I heard the beautiful voice of my angel beg. "Please be alright; you have to be alright."

I struggled to open my eyes: it took me a few moments before I succeeded. I saw the face of my angel, the only person on heaven or earth that I would ever want to see.

"Edward," I croaked, and I started to cough. It wasn't one of those tiny coughs where you put your hand over your mouth for two seconds before it passes. No, this was one of those coughs where you feel like you will cough up a lung. I could taste a metallic flavor in my mouth that could only be one thing: blood.

"Shh, Bella. Don't talk; we are almost to the hospital. Your dad's at home, and Alice is on her way to comfort him. You're going to be okay, Charlie's going to be okay. Focus only on yourself. Carlisle should be at the hospital by the time we get there."

I couldn't think straight; all I could think about was trying to fight off the eternal sleep trying to take over me. It hurt so much that I was about to give up. The only lifeline I was given were Edward's words. "We're here."

He slowed down so he could pass as a human sprinting as fast as possible. He started barking orders at the lady running the front desk. She called in a stretcher after she got over her initial shock. The doctors ordered Edward away from me, but Edward refused.

It wasn't much later that Carlisle showed up and started to work on me. Carlisle told everyone that Edward could stay. No one argued with what he had to say for he was the most reasonable person anyone has ever seen. Carlisle was working as quickly as he could, but I could tell he was frustrated that he had to work at human speed. He had to keep up appearances after all.

Carlisle finally told Edward to help, and Edward followed his instructions, both verbal and mental. I was surprised my blood wasn't bothering him. I was bleeding way more than when James tortured me. I felt something jab into my arm and I was out faster than I could say, "Ow."

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry if it was really long for some of you. I couldn't stop writing. Next chapter is going to be from Edward's perspective. Have a great day.**

**~JerinAnn**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Edward's POV**

I fell back in the chair as Bella rested in the hospital bed. Carlisle and I worked furiously on her as we tried to keep her in this world. We finally got her stabilized and now she was sleeping in the bed, hopefully dreaming safe and happy dreams.

I still couldn't understand why she tried to kill herself. The whole reason we came back when we did was to stop her from trying this. I threw my head back. Why was I always failing her?

But she promised. She promised not to do anything reckless or stupid. I was abruptly furious. She hurt herself; she tried to kill the only thing I ever loved. When did my beloved start to act so childish? I squeezed my eyes shut as I knew it was because of me. I drove her to do this.

Bella started to stir about four hours later. She rolled her shoulders, a low moan escaping her lips. I was leaning over her in a flash.

"Bella?" I whispered. How much pain was she in? "Bella?" I said louder, needing a response from her.

Her eyelids squeezed tightly together. It was times like these that I wish I could hear her thoughts, at least one of them anyway. She sighed softly and gently moved her hand towards my face. I caught her hand before it could touch my cheek and brought it to my lips to kiss her hand softly. Her eyes snapped open to meet mine.

"Edward?" she whispered hoarsely, her voice still raw from almost dying. "Are you…. Is that really you?"

"Yes," I said just as softly. She flinched as I spoke. I knew I should be angry with her, but I could never be angry with her. All I could think about what that she was really here, here and alive with me. "I'm here, Bella. What do you remember?"

"Everything. I remember you. I remember every touch, every kiss… every goodbye." Her voice was getting lower as she spoke, but it broke on the last part. I looked at her face and my heart broke. Her eyes held such agony that one would think she was being tortured.

You caused it, I thought. You put her through all this misery.

"Bella," I began, but she started crying. "Bella! Please, listen. I love you. I lied to you before. I love you! I'm so sorry I told you otherwise. I wanted you safe, protected. But I failed you, Bella. I am so sorry." I lost it: I started to cry.

I felt miserable, broken. I hurt the most precious girl in the world and myself at the same time because of my stupidity. I knew what I was doing, I knew what the consequences were, but I did it anyway.

She gazed at me in shock. I have only cried in front of her once before: when I thought I was too late to save her from James. All I could do was cry. The meaning of my existence was in agony because of me; she tried to kill herself because of me. I broke everything I touched. I hurt her more ways than anyone has ever done. How could I deal with that? I couldn't. I would spend the rest of my miserable existence trying to be the right person for her even if it would be the reason for my destruction.

"Edward?" I heard her call softly. I didn't look up. "Edward, please, don't cry."

Don't cry? I slowly lifted my head so my eyes could meet her brown orbs. "How can I not?" I asked miserably. "The person I care for, more than my own life, is hurt and almost died today because of me. Everything I am hurts you. How can I not cry?"

"Edward!" Bella exclaimed. "If you don't want to hurt me then please stop crying. It's killing me to know that you are crying because of me."

I took a deep breath. I stared at her for a long moment. Her eyes were filled with pain and sorrow. She was in agony because I was crying. I took another deep breath and smiled at her. "Sorry, love."

She used her free hand to cup my cheek and brought my face to hers to gently kiss me. She pulled away to look at me with curious eyes. "Where's Charlie? Is he okay?"

I could feel my features hardening into an angry mask. "He's in shock," I told her, trying to calm myself down, but unable to do so. "Alice is with him now. He'll be fine after the shock wears off and knows that you're fine."

She nodded, agony filling her eyes. "Bella?" I asked, concerned, "are you in pain?"

She glared at me slightly. "I'm such an idiot!" she exclaimed suddenly. "I can't believe I did that." She shook her head slightly.

"I can't believe you did that either," I muttered to quiet for her to hear.

She looked at the ceiling, biting her bottom lip the way she always did as she decided if she wanted to say some. "Edward…" she said as she continued to stare at the ceiling. She rushed to get the rest of her words out in fear that I would interrupt her. "I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I don't care that you left me; it doesn't change the fact that I will always love you. I will spend the rest of my miserable life, no matter how short, trying to be good enough for you."

She didn't think she was good enough for me. I shook my head. Absurd. She was everything I wanted, everything I needed. I wasn't good enough for her. I was basking in the fact that she still loved me. I gently put my hands on her face and pulled hers hard enough to make her look at me. "Bella…" I trailed off, at a loss for word. I decided to have my actions speak for me instead.

I kissed her with more passion than I ever allowed myself to show. I needed her to know how much I loved her, how much I wanted her. The heart monitor when wild as I continued to kiss her. After a few more seconds of kissing her, I heard someone clear their throats. I reluctantly pulled us apart.

Carlisle was standing in the doorway trying hard not to laugh. Next to him stood a mortified nurse who was looking everywhere but at us. Bella flushed a bright red as she realized they were there as we kissed.

"We heard your heart monitor jump as we were walking down here and thought something was wrong," Carlisle told Bella gently.

The nurse's thoughts were flustered. He is cute… she's such a lucky girl, but I can't believe they were going that far in the hospital… oh God, I hope this doesn't happen here often. I need to ask Dr. Cullen about it, but isn't that his boy?

I smiled cheekily back at Carlisle. "Nope; nothing's wrong."

The nurse muttered something about checking up on another patient as she rushed out of the room.

Carlisle laughed gently. "It's her first day here," he explained. "She's going to have some interesting stories to tell her family."

I laughed as Bella blushed a deeper red. I leaned forward and kissed her cheek carefully before lying down beside her on the bed. Carlisle excused himself after he warned me to be careful and not jolt the bed.

Son, try to restrain yourself until Bella is released. We don't need to traumatize the new nurse into leaving, Carlisle thought. I quietly laughed in reply.

I grabbed Bella's hand as she put it on my chest. "I love you," she whispered.

"As I love you. Get some rest, love. You'll be out of here before you know it."

She nodded softly and snuggled closer to me. I put my arms around her to secure her in place as I hummed her lullaby softly. I felt her smile as she succumbed to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So, I might rewrite the earlier chapters in the future when I have time. For now, I want to finish this story for everyone who has stuck by it for years. I don't have a lot of time now with classes and such, but I will try to write in my free time. I hope you enjoy this story, and remember that you are all awesome. I want to thank you all for the amazing reviews I got for the A/N chapter I posted. It means so much to me as a writer to see you care enough to respond. I will try to write longer chapters for this now because of that (my goal is at least 1000, words per chapter). So without further ado, here's chapter 6.**

**Bella's POV:**

I was in the hospital for a day before my father decided to come visit me in the hospital. It took that day for my father to get over his shock of seeing his daughter try to commit suicide, seeing the ex-boyfriend come sprinting down the stairs to help her, and seeing Alice for the first time in six months.

Charlie's visit wasn't that pleasant. He spent most of the time yelling at me how irresponsible and stupid I was for doing that. I could understand why he was screaming at me, and I agreed with what he said. I could see the pain in his eyes; I could see his fear. I felt guilty for putting him through that.

"Dad," I said when he took a break to breathe. "I'm so sorry. I was so stupid for trying to do that. I don't want to die, Dad. I didn't do it because of that. I did it out of compulsion. Everything came back to me at that moment, and it was… it was too much, Dad. I couldn't deal with it. I wasn't thinking clearly, obviously. I'm so sorry."

Charlie took a deep breath. "I would say it's okay, Bells, but it really is not. You are grounded, and I will be keeping a close eye on you from now on. Do you understand that?"

I nodded. "I understand…." I looked down at the floor. "Dad, I really am sorry."

Charlie walked over and put his arms around me. "I know kid. It's just… damn it, Bells. I can't lose you, not again." He looked at me with agony in his eyes. "I can't Bella. You don't know how close I was to losing it when…" he trailed off, his eyes distant and haunted.

I hugged him the best I could. "I'm sorry. I won't ever do anything like that again."

"I know you won't, sweetheart. I have a right to worry over you though." He smiled at me, but it didn't touch his eyes.

I nodded. "Dad… please don't blame the Cullens. It's not their fault." Charlie looked at me disbelieving. "It really isn't, Dad." I decided I needed to lie to make it better. "It wasn't even Edward's fault. They all decided to leave, but Edward didn't want to. He said he still loved me, but he didn't want to keep up a long distance relationship because he believed it would only make matters worse. He told me when he left that he didn't love me so I had a hope of moving on and being happy. He didn't realize that the opposite would happen. It was just as hard for him as it was for me. Please, Dad, don't be angry with him."

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I still don't like the boy." He gave me a hard look. "I know he meant well, but that was not the way to go about it. The boy should have just been truthful with you."

I shook my head. "I forgave him, so, please, do the same. Can you do that for me?"

He groaned. "I'll _try_," he said doubtfully. He hugged me tighter. "Get better soon, Bells."

I smiled. "You have to get to work, don't you?"

He smiled apologetically. "I can call in if you really want me to stay…"

"Oh, no," I quickly said, "I don't want you to change your schedule because of me. Besides, I want to make up some lost time with Alice…"

He nodded and kissed my head. "You're sure easy to live with, Bells." He sighed. "I should probably be going." He looked at me sternly. "I will be back later tonight."

"I thought you would," I teased.

He grinned and walked out the door. Five seconds didn't even pass before Edward was back at my side.

"That went better than I expected…" he mused.

"Didn't expect my dad to like you?" I joked.

"Oh, he's far from like him," he grimaced, "but he's not planning on hunting me down and shooting me like he was planning to earlier."

I rolled my eyes. Yeah, that sounded just like my dad.

"So, when can I get out of here?" I questioned. I really hated being in the hospital. I should get a frequent visitor card or a hospital bed with my name carved into it.

"A couple days, a week at most," Edward replied, his voice going dark.

I looked at his face and say anger and disapproval engraved in it.

I groaned. "Please don't tell me you are still angry at me, too."

He glared at the space above my head. "How can I not be upset?" he demanded. "I arrive here to stop you from killing yourself, and you try to do it anyway."

I groaned and threw my head back. "Stop making it sound like I'm some insignificant child who needs constant protection from the world as well as myself. It's maddening."

He stared at me. "But that's just it, Bella. I _have_ to protect you."

I glared at him. "No you don't. Normal people go throughout their lives in danger, and they live for the most part. They don't have a boyfriend who's only concern is to not let the girlfriend get a broken bone or, God forbid, a bruise. I might be fragile compared to you, but I'm not completely helpless."

I could see his jaw clench. "Most people don't have a boyfriend who is a vampire. They also don't have that said boyfriend who struggles to not kill her for either her blood or her fragility. You don't know how much it tortures me to know I could be the death of you."

I stared at him. "Than take the only solution there is," I whispered.

"Which is," he asked though he probably knew my answer.

"Change me. Keep me. If you truly love me, you'd want me by your side forever."

"That's not a solution, Bella," he growled. "It's a tragedy."

"How?" I demanded. "I love you. Leaving didn't keep me safe. There's no other option, Edward. I want you forever; why do you deny me it?"

"You don't know the consequences of the choice you're making," he insisted.

"I think I do," I argued. "I've seen it, Edward. You can't believe I am actually so stupid and ignorant that I would not observe it. I know that there is thirst. I know that I will lose my family and friends. I know that I will have a hard time controlling myself for a while, but I also know that I can learn to deal with it like you all did. And no matter what I give, you will always be worth it, Edward. There is not always a compromise."

He sighed. "I won't change you, Bella. I can't do that to you," he whispered, pain leaking into his voice.

"I will die someday, you do realize that, right?"

"I will follow soon behind you," he said calmly.

"That's…" I searched for the right word, "sick." Yeah that summed it up. "Do you realize what Carlisle and Alice will do if they find out."

Edward was about to speak when we heard a dry voice speak from the doorway. "Do you?"

**A/N: Again, I want to thank everyone for sticking with this story. I'm sorry if it isn't the best, content wise, but I'm having a hard time getting back into this story after about a year. I think it will get better in a few chapters, so please bear with me until then. :) I hope you all have a great day. Happy reading.**

**~JerinAnn**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Response to Guest review: I know the grammar and such isn't good. I want to go back and rewrite it when the story is completed. I wrote it a long time ago when I wasn't the best writer, but I feel like I grew as a writer. I'm starting to write the chapters like I would my newer stories. I'm sorry you feel like this is a cliche, but I enjoyed the idea because I imagined what would happen if this was actually how the book went. Anyway, I hope you have a good day. ~JerinAnn**

**Bella's POV:**

Edward and my head snapped toward the door. We saw Carlisle and Alice there. Carlisle looked appalled, and Alice looked ticked. Alice was the one who spoke.

"Seriously, Edward, how did you expect to keep this from us for long. Or, better yet, how did you expect us to react? Did you think we would be okay with it?"

"It isn't up to you," Edward hissed.

"The hell it isn't!" Alice screamed at him.

"Alice, Edward, if you don't quiet down you'll have to leave," Carlisle told them in a quiet voice. Edward and Alice just continued to glare murderously at each other. Carlisle sighed. "Son," he waited until Edward looked at him to continue, "if you don't change her, I will. I won't lose both a son and a daughter."

Edward's eyes filled with horror and anger. "No! You can't do that. She's healthy. She needs to live a long, happy life."

"Edward," I said softly, trying not to infuriate him further, "I don't want that life. Why can't you understand that. I never wanted that. I always felt out of sync with everyone else, even my mother whom I was closer to than anyone else. I never felt like I belonged anywhere before, that is, until I meet you and your family." I looked at him with pleading eyes. "Don't take that away from me, please."

He looked at me with tortured eyes. He seemed to be considering something before he dropped his gaze. "We'll talk later," he mumbled.

I stared at him, my mouth agape. He's never dropped a subject like that before. I was so shocked that he chuckled. He touched my cheek gently. "We'll talk later," he insisted. "I want you to get some rest so you can get out of here."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, because I can sleep after everything that's happened."

"A normal person would."

"I've never been normal," I teased.

He cracked a smile. "That's true." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead.

I looked at Carlisle with pleading eyes. "Can't I stay with you all for a little bit? I mean, you're the main doctor here, so if I'm staying with you, isn't that the same as if I were here?"

Carlisle looked thoughtful for a moment. "I guess it would be… but you would have to okay it with your father. And you should probably go to the hospital when I go to work."

I groaned. "Can't I stay at your house? I mean, Edward has like, what, two medical degrees." I grinned as I teased my love.

Carlisle laughed. "I guess that much is true. I'll call your father to see if he's okay with it."

"Just tell him Alice wants a sleepover; he can't deny her anything," I told him dryly. It was kind of annoying that Charlie seemed to adore Alice, but hated Edward. I guess no one could avoid Alice's charm if they gave her the opportunity to unleash it… and maybe Edward's charm only worked on women.

Carlisle smiled at me slightly, before excusing himself because his pager went off. I looked at Alice. "So, am I going to your house?"

Alice closed her eyes in concentration. When she opened them she was beaming. "I'll go to your house and pack you some clothes."

"Just don't take the whole closet with you," I mumbled only half-jokingly. Alice was known for her obsession with clothes. If I let her, she would be using me as her personal barbie.

Alice grumbled as she walked out of the room. I rolled my eyes. She really was one of a kind just like her brother. Speaking of her brother, I looked at him and saw his eyes closed, his head falling back.

"Edward?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

He sighed. "What isn't?"

I remained silent, knowing he wouldn't like my answer. I looked down at my hands as I asked him a question that had been burning on my lips. "What happens now?" I whispered. "I mean, what are we going to do?"

He opened his eyes and smiled slightly. "I guess we try to go back to normal, or as normal as we ever were."

"So I guess that means you will be returning to Forks High?" I teased.

He laughed. "I guess so." He looked at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "And if I remember correctly, we have almost every class together, so we will be seeing a lot of each other, Miss Swan."

I laughed lightly. "I wouldn't have it any other way, Mr. Cullen."  
>Carlisle came back in shortly after to announce that Charlie was okay with the slumber party, or as okay as he could be with it. Carlisle and I signed my release forms, and I was soon on my way to the Cullen house. I sighed dreamily. Oh, how I missed this house. This would always be my refuge, my real home.<p>

I held hands with Edward the entire way there. I was content to just be with him. I missed him so much, but I couldn't remember clearly how it felt after he left. It wasn't like I was healed, but like there was no wound in the first place. I smiled thinking about how well suited Edward and I were, or would be if Edward got over his repulsion of me as a vampire, his equal.

"Welcome home," Edward whispered in my ear as we pulled up in front of his house.

I smiled at him. "That sounds nice."

"Hmm," he hummed in agreement.

Edward carried me up to his room in his arms. He sat me on his couch and frowned. "I wish I had a bed…" he murmured almost to himself. "It would be more comfortable for you if I had one."

"Don't worry about it, Edward," I sighed. "I'm fine with the couch." I looked around his room. "Actually, your floor wouldn't be half bad either."

He snorted lightly, and Alice bounced into the room. "Don't you even dare think about sleeping on the floor," Alice warned. "I ordered a bed online for you both, and it should be here by noon tomorrow. For now, you will have to make due with Edward's arms."

I smiled. "I'm okay with that."

She laughed. "I figured that much." She handed me a bag with her nose wrinkled. "After you are better, I'm taking you shopping."

I sighed. "It figures that after I heal, you want to kill me."

She just laughed at me. "You make it sound worse than it is." She looked out the window. "I have to go now. Jasper wants to talk to me." She looked back at me. "Why don't you change for bed and try to get some sleep. Edward was right about one thing; you need your rest to get better."

I groaned as I put the bag on my shoulder. The last thing I wanted to do was sleep. I was worried that they would disappear again. But, then again, if I was sleeping in Edward's arms, he couldn't really escape me that easily.

After I was changed, I returned to Edward's room to find a pillow and blanket on his couch that Edward was sitting on. I raised an eyebrow.

He shrugged. "Esme thought it might be more comfortable with these."

I grinned. "Thanks, Esme," I said in a normal voice, knowing she would hear me just as easily as if I shouted it. I shook my head slightly. "I appreciate the blanket, but I'm pretty sure you will be an okay pillow," I teased. "You're not exactly soft, but it's definitely preferable."

He shook his head slowly. "Come here, my absurd lamb." He stretched his arms out in a welcoming to which I walked into. He curled me into his arms and wrapped the blanket around me. "Sleep, my love." I quickly lost consciousness to him humming my favorite lullaby.

**A/N: I'm sorry if this chapter skipped around a bit or was a bit random. I wrote this at 10:30 on Monday. I guess I was half asleep. If you're reading this now, I probably went back through when I was actually awake and edited (this is me in the past speaking)... yeah I totally need to sleep. I'll try to write more of this story soon, but I want to finish the epilogue of Switching Covens before I decide to go too deep into this again. I hope you all have a great night. Happy reading.**

**~JerinAnn**


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